I took this picture a year ago when I was landing in Chicago coming back from a 3 month trip in Korea. Whenever I see that I’m in Chicago, I get this sudden rush of anxiety of going back to reality because the time away from Chicago always feels like a dream. I always correlated Chicago with bad feelings since college (- possibly even high school because I remember thinking if I left the country all my problems would go away).
I’ve been trying to prevent these “bad feelings” by trying to look on the bright side except I often slip, which is where I get my “starting over” motto from. Lately, I’ve been trying to find something big that would inspire me to keep going and not slip, instead I’ve been finding small signs of inspiration.
Like I said, I correlate my bad feelings with Chicago, but not everything I went through in Chicago was bad. I let the bad things overlook the good, instead I should let the good overlook the bad. This is funny because I found this inspiration from an episode of How I Met Your Mother when Ted tells Lily he’s moving to Chicago and tells her about his list of things/places/people he wants to say ‘goodbye’ to before he leaves New York; Lily then advises him: “You wrote down all these things to say goodbye to. But so many of them are good things. Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost. To all the times that was a no instead of a yes. To all the scrapes and bruises. To all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time.” (I know, I found inspiration from Netflix binging – don’t laugh at me.)
I always thought that if I move somewhere else, I could start new, but, truthfully, I’d still be carrying the baggage of bad feelings with me. Instead, I should be making the most of wherever I am. This inspiration I got from Lee Hyori’s new show. I don’t watch it, but I’ve seen clips on Facebook and I am officially in love with her lifestyle and perspective of life. Underneath is that clip of her giving advice to one of her guests that she is already enough the way she is and it doesn’t matter where you are or how you’re living, what matters is being satisfied where you are right now. I don’t know if I translated it right, for all I know, I probably totally botched the translation and interpreted it my own way.
I’m always constantly thinking about the future, which is probably why I get so much anxiety because our front lobe is responsible for our thoughts on the future, which then causes us to be anxious thinking about the future (don’t quote me on this because I got it from a book and I haven’t read it in awhile, so I don’t remember the exact facts – I’m going to have to go back and check it then I’ll edit this info). I want to concentrate on now and make the most of where I am now rather than constantly panicking about the future. I am going to go with the flow while I enjoy the present time I have, and it’ll lead me to wherever I need to be in the future.
I know this post was super cheesy, but it’s purpose is mostly to give myself tips on how to take on every day with the right mindset; and who knows maybe this will help a few of you who stumbled on this post.